


The Day After The World Didn't End

by NobodyOfficial



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), Pacific Rim Uprising - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Resolution, set after PR1, sorry peeps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 02:40:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14126325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyOfficial/pseuds/NobodyOfficial
Summary: UPRISING SPOILERSWith the imminent threat of kaiju eradicated Newt now has time to relax and reflect on events. Something feels wrong though, only he can't figure out what or explain what's going on inside his head.





	The Day After The World Didn't End

The party was beginning to die down, but it had been going for almost twelve hours now. It wasn't so much a celebration of the world's salvation as a distraction from what had happened, and what needed to happen next. The world would need rebuilding, as well as every individual's life.

Newt had begun his new life by drinking as much beer as was available to him and eating anything he could get his hands on first. He was still pumped with adrenaline from his earlier encounter and rather than use it to finish up his reports he'd decided to cram far too much nutrients into his body far too quickly. Now he was curled up on a chair beside Hermann, who was being uncharacteristically sweet and had draped an arm around his shoulders.

As Hermann had a soft, serious conversation with Raleigh and Mako Newt allowed his attention to wander (he'd spent the past ten years having serious conversations, excuse him if he wanted to tune out of this one) and realised he felt quite uncomfortable. He blinked hard to clear his vision, wondering if he had a headache from the combination of unprecedented drifting and alcohol, but he realised the discomfort wasn't confined to his head.

Newt was covered in scrapes and bruises from his dash through Hong Kong and his limbs ached from the sudden and desperate explosion of action, but this was a different kind of pain. It was very dull and distant, as if it didn't even come from his body at all.

He brushed the feeling away and stretched. He was sleep deprived and adrenaline fuelled and slightly drunk and uncomfortably full. He'd feel better after a couple of days of rest (and a couple of years of therapy. Those precursors were haunting!).

Hermann seemed to have noticed Newt's discomfort, as he ran a hand down his back and murmured, "Are you quite alright, Newton? You seem to have more trouble than usual sitting still." Apparently Hermann was only stiff and bitter in the face of war, as he'd been nothing but kind to Newt all day. Even his taunts were delivered gently; some of them even came with a smile.

"I dunno man, I just feel a bit uncomfortable," Newt groaned, fidgeting in his seat to try and release the pressure of- what? He didn't know what was causing the prickling of his spine.

"Well, that is to be expected." Newt waited for a barb about how he'd been stuffing himself with junk food all day. "You did just save the world," Hermann said, with an affectionate squeeze of Newt's shoulder. "You're probably tired. Should I walk you back to your room? Or do you need to see a doctor?"

"Um." Newt shuffled closer to Hermann and when he didn't protest rested his head on his shoulder. He looked to Mako and Raleigh. "You know after you drift, do you ever get this continued feeling of, I don't know, a-" Newt's words stuck in throat. He felt like he was being choked; the harder he tried to force the words out the more his throat tightened. He relaxed and took a deep breath, then tried again, "I feel like there's a-" Again something locked. He gritted his teeth and tried to force the words out, but the tightness of his throat made it impossible to breath. He gasped for air.

"What's wrong?" Mako asked, eyes clouded with worry. Raleigh was leaning forward now, elbows on his knees and eyebrows creased.

Newt was too afraid to reply.

"Newton?" Hermann ran a hand through his hair.

"I-" He was relived to find he could get the words out, "I'm fine. Trauma or something, I guess. I'll be alright tomorrow." Probably.

Hermann took Newt's arm and stood him up. "I'll take you to your room." He nodded respectfully to Raleigh and Mako. "Mr Becket, Miss Mori. Thank you for your service, and once again my condolences."

"Likewise." Raleigh shook his hand. "Take care of Dr Geiszler, he looks shook up."

"I'm fine," Newt protested, but then Hermann placed a gentle hand on his lower back that made him dizzy.

"I wouldn't dream of doing anything less."

Once they were out in the corridor Hermann whispered, "What could you possibly have to say that you cannot express in front of Mr Becket and Miss Mori? Is everything alright?"

"Nah, nah, it wasn't that I couldn't say it in front of them, I just couldn't seem to get my words out." Newt was slightly offended by his brain's decision to limit his free speech. Talking was his thing, how was he suppose to annoy Hermann if he couldn't express every little detail that popped into his head?

"You know, drifting causes deep emotional bonds. And we drifted with a monster. You have every right to feel uncomfortable with that thing's memories invading your mind," Hermann said seriously.

Newt laughed. "Come on dude, like I'm going to form an emotional bond or something with an alien." He rolled his eyes. "It's been a long ten years, I just need some rest."

"As long as you're certain you're alright."

They stopped outside Newt's door. For the past nine years Newt had told himself he'd confess everything to Hermann after the war was over. That he thought Hermann was a stuffy, argumentative bastard and that he loved him. That he kind of didn't want to spend a single moment away from him. He'd previously been afraid that a confession like this would ruin their work, and also that Hermann would flat out reject him. However now there was no work to be done and he'd drifted with Hermann; he certainly liked him. That hadn't exactly been what he was focusing on, but he hadn't detected a single bad emotion towards him in Hermann's head. That had to mean good things.

What little nerves Newt had had were dulled by the alcohol. He was awesome, of course Hermann would want to be his boyfriend.

As Hermann started to turn away Newt grabbed his hand. "Hey man, uh, I've got something I kind of wanted to tell you."

"Of course," Hermann smiled, turning back to give Newt his full attention.

"Hermann I'm-" His chest clenched. His throat closed. A throbbing pain spread like seismic waves from the centre of his brain. "I'm in-" He choked out, before the pain in his head became too much and he collapsed on the floor.

"Newton!" Hermann caught his shoulders but wasn't strong enough to hold him up, so instead cradled him against his chest. "Newton please, what is the problem?"

"Get off me!" Newt snapped. The words seemed to have bypassed his brain and come straight out his mouth; he never would've been so unnecessarily sharp. Hermann hesitantly let go of him, but Newt snatched his arms back. "No, no, I'm sorry I don't-" He took a breath to calm down. "I don't know what's happening to me, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I understand," Hermann started.

"But you don't, I can't explain it, it's driving me crazy!" Newt grabbed one of Hermann's eternally cold hands and pressed it against his aching forehead. "I'll be fine," he said, more to himself than to Hermann. "I've just had a rough day, I'm a little drunk, I'll be fine."

"As long as you're certain." Hermann leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Newt almost melted. It wasn't the confession he'd been hoping for but there was no doubt in his mind now that Hermann liked him. Ok, there was a little doubt, but he had no idea where that'd come from. "Would you like me to stay with you tonight?"

"No!" Newt barked before he knew what he was saying. Hermann looked slightly hurt. "No, no, thanks man," Newt continued with more gentleness. "I think you'd better stay away from me right now."

"Whatever you want. Have a good rest, Newton, and please come and talk to me if you need anything."

"Yeah, yeah, same here man," Newt nodded. He let Hermann go.

He had wanted to tell him about this presence in his head, a feeling like someone was watching him from the inside. About how when he choked up it felt like some alien hand closing around his oesophagus. About how some speech just skipped his thought process and tumbled out of his mouth. He was vaguely aware of the thought that maybe, at some point, something had gone wrong, but that thought always dissipated before he could pinpoint when and what. It was almost like it was being snatched from his head before he could figure anything out, always replaced in stead with one thought: you're fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I still can't believe they killed my girl Mako, what a disappointment. Tumblr: itsalwayssunnyontelevision. Anyway, thanks for reading, mes amis!


End file.
